How I'm doing so far...

It's been a busy few weeks; things didn't exactly go to plan with quitting. After my wife kicked me out, with no notice, and no money, I spent a couple weeks bumming around, crashing here and there before getting a hotel and living on credit. I'm not sure how, but I did maintain my habit, despite my best intentions.

I'd been hitting it hard, been bringing gear into the city, investing in other local dealers, and using, using, using, using, with patched of sickness (I'm giving up, honest) in between. I had a two week holiday recently though, and I moved into a new flat, which is kinda nice.

I rattled during the holiday, got to day three, suffered the shits, the vomiting, the feeling like death and the sleeplessness, got over the worse, and had a hit to celebrate. Since then, I've carried on using daily, but not a huge amount.

I have been using less than usual, and am a day clean again. I had the police drop all charges against me, and I'm beginning to see a little chink of light at the end of the tunnel. Odds are that it's a train, but we'll see...

I'm feeling a lot more positive than I have done for a while, and am drinking less, and I'm aware that this has to stop. It's no life at all, and it's costing a fortune. It's just not woth the effort any more. So, I'm on the verge of changing my number and deleting that of every user or dealer I know. Thing is, that will reduce my social life and circle to pretty much zero. Although there is a boxing gym that does white collar fighting a few doors down from me, and I do want to get healthy. I'm not good at sticking to gyms alone, but the idea of competing and eventually fighting is a motivator. I've lost a lot of weight recently, and started doing some basic exercise, so maybe now is a good opportunity for me to actually sort my act out.

I've a lot to do with bills, debts, lawyers, family, and I don't have time to be trashed.

I am by nature a lazy bastard though, and the lure of the sofa is always strong and if I'm not active and busy, then I'm in trouble...

I'm seeing a lot of omens too; other people succeeding, and failing; many of my friends are inside, and a colleague that just completed alcohol rehab and looked human, and seemed pretty well has just come flying off the wagon, and no longer has a job, and is in a really really bad place. She's fucked; no income, no savings, misery, mounting bills and no future. I don't want that, but it's where I'm headed (again) if I'm not careful. I need to fill my time doing normal things, with normal people. I have gradually alienated myself from this sort of life, and have never felt settled in it; opting out was always ok, and my partner tied me to reality. Now my link to normality is gone, and I need to forge new ones.

Anyone got any ideas?